i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
