Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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