whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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