Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I am naked and annoyed.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize