there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
