Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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