dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
