I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
