matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
