Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
