wakey wakey hands off snakey
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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