So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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