you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
