nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
How external is "for external use only"?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize