just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
