So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
