Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
