please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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