The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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