I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
