This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Did I show you my penis last night?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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