the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Randomize
