wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
