I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Randomize
