i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
