I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
