Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
