@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
