am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Randomize
