This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
