The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
everyone is single if you try hard enough
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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