He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
