She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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