I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
