she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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