if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
