glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
