he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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