when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
