i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
