plz talk dirty to me
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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