Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
