If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
