Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
