If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
