drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
