I accidentally had phone sex last night
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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