Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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