Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
