What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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