you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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