You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
