none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
