so explain again why im purple
no
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
