You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize