.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
