Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize