someone owes me an orgasm
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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