this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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